This is an account of SOME of the things that we've experienced since Jessica has been gone.

On November 20th, 2006 our beautiful daughter Jessica of only 14 years passed away after a very short illness (18 hours in the hospital). Life as we knew it had changed forever. We were shocked and felt such despair.

It has been one month now since her passing and the events that have unfolded since that awful day has given us the strength to go on.

The day after her death we were driving to the funeral home to make funeral arrangements, that day we saw the first sign that she is still with us. You see, Jessica loved rainbows. For some reason even as a small child they excited and amazed her. On our dreary drive to the funeral home we were all so sad and low. Her brother, sister, brother in law, dad and I all noticed that there was a rainbow that seemed to follow the car all the way there. As soon as we saw it we knew that she was with God and ordering up a rainbow. When we saw it her brother mentioned that before we had left, he was outside his Fiancé house and saw a rainbow that went from our house and stretched over to the school.

The night before the prayer service that we held for her at the church we were all sat together in my bedroom. I was writing some things to say as the service, everyone was crying and talking about Jessica. Suddenly everyone got quiet at once. We all looked at each other and agreed that she was there with us. We felt her presence so strongly.

The evening of the funeral we were all at the house. Lenita and her husband Ferdie, my son Max and his Fiancé Wendy and their baby Brooklynn who is just 2.

Brooklynn was entertaining us in the living room with a little dance. She had us clapping and laughing with her. When things got a bit quieter the baby started acting a little weird. She was whining and pretending she was crying as we first thought. She kept it up and it got more intense. I put her in my lap and asked her what was wrong. At this point there was her mom, my daughter Lenita and myself still in the room. My husband had gone outside for a cigarette and as we later found out, was praying to Jessica to send us a sign that she is OK. Expecting a mere shooting star, what happened next was better than anything he could have imagined.

The baby still whining pointed up to the ceiling and said “Jess” that is what she called Jessica. We all looked at her in disbelief and I asked her “where is aunt Jess?” Again she pointed up to the same area and said “Jess”. She got down and walked to my bedroom where Jessica’s teddy bear was. She reached for the teddy and stared into its eyes. We thought she could see Jess in the bear. She was still whimpering a little at this point. She walked to the top of the 2 steps that go up to my living room from the kitchen. In a strong loud voice she called 3 times to her grandfather who heard her from outside, “Poppa, Poppa, Poppa” He came in to see what was going on, Brooklynn had never called to him like that before. He came to her and she passed him the bear. She took his hand and led him to the computer where there was a picture of Jessica. She put his hand right on Jessica’s face. From there she led him to my room where Jessica’s comforter was on the bed. She took the end of the comforter and passed it to him. By this time we were all in tears because we knew Jessica was trying to comfort us through the child.

My husband then heard his brother Jim come into the house. When he tried to leave the room she kept calling him back. Brooklynn never acted this way with her Grandfather before. She never really paid any attention to him when she was visiting us. She usually preferred her Nan.

My husbands’ brother called out to him and he left the room and went to the kitchen. The baby then took my hand and led me to the kitchen. She still held the teddy under one arm. She went straight to pop and took his hand. She led us to Jessica’s room. She patted the bed where she wanted me to sit and did the same for him. (Meanwhile, the baby’s mom and dad and my daughter and her husband were still looking on in amazement) After she had us seated on the bed she climbed up with us. She started pointing at the window and whining again. She said “Jess” and stood up on the bed hesitating a little, and then she kissed the window. Then she did something that took her Grandpa’s breath away. You see, Jessica’s dad would often go into her room and massage her back and neck before he kissed her goodnight. The baby put the teddy down on my lap and laid down on it face down, and moved her back a little back and forth like she wanted him to rub it. He proceeded to rub her on the back and neck. Meanwhile, she still made the whimpering noises almost like she was in a trance. Before we knew it it was midnight 4 hours had passed and it seemed like 30 minutes.

The following day the school girls’ volleyball team went to a tournament. Jessica’s best friend Tara was on the team. They didn’t win a game all year but that day they wore pink armbands in honor of Jessica. The ended up WINNING the championship. Putting balls over the net like never before. Later that evening the town held a motorcade for them team. Brooklynn was at our house. She must have heard the noise because she led her poppy and I to the window in Jessica’s room. I opened the window and asked her “what’s that”? She answered by saying Jessica’s name 3 times. She had never said her full name before, but this time she said it 3 times. We are not sure if she saw Jessica again or felt her spirit and connected it with the noise.

After the motorcade the team came to our house and gathered in Jessica’s room. They gave the team chant and we could feel Jessicas presence in the room with them so strongly. Most of the kids left after a while and the only ones left were her closest friends, the ones she always hung out with. Brooklynn had the teddy bear again this night and we realized after that she would pass the teddy to a friend for them to hug and then she would take it back and before the night was over, she had passed it to almost everyone. Anyone she did not pass it to, she made sure to acknowledge then, she would look around people and say “HI”.

Since she had passed her sister had had many times where she has smelled her favorite perfume (Cotton Candy), and at times other people have smelled it at the same time. We were in the kitchen (me, Brooklynn and Lenita) and we were cooking supper, the kitchen window was open and from nowhere, a STRONG smell of cotton candy perfume surrounded us. My daughter was just about to say, “can you smell that” when I said the same thing to her.

On Christmas night my Daughter Lenita was trying to go to sleep, she was in Jessica’s bedroom; it was around 3 in the morning and the bedroom door opened by itself. She got out of bed to see if it was the cat trying to get out, but the cat was asleep up on the couch. She got back into bed and tried to go to sleep but the next thing she heard was the creaking of the floor, like someone was walking over it, then she heard the sound of papers being shuffled on the computer desk. She put her hand out and asked Jessica to come to her, she felt a cold breeze go by her hand and then a cold breeze up by her lips, Like Jessica was giving her a kiss. The heat was on in the bedroom so there is no explanation for the cold feeling. The next morning Lenita found a dime on the blanket of the bed.

Jessica’s Dad had lost track of all the dimes that he has found in the most unusual places. At one point he counted them and it averaged out to be one dime for every day since she has been gone.

Darlane Brockerville - Jessica's Mom
This will be updated soon, there's been so many more signs from Jessica.

Letter From Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...

but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.

Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.



Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.

Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,

God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."



It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.

As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.

I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.

There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."



God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.

And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.

God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.



When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years

because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.

Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.



I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.

But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.

I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.



There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;

but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...

that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.



If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,

then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,

knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.



So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,

just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;

I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.



And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,

remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

~Author~

Ruth Ann Mahaffey
©Copyright 1998 
used with permission

This essay was written by our Beautiful Jessica for Remembrance Day 2006.

For one day we are asked to remember and we must try to remember.  If we don't remember who will?  It's not fair to the lost soldiers or even the soldiers who are fighting right now to be forgotten. They are fighting so we can be free.  They care about us enough to risk their lives for us.  We should remember these people everyday not just one day and we should thank them for helping us to be able to live in a free country.

I think Remembrance Day is the one day we have to remember these soldiers.  If there was no Remembrance Day we would forget to remember.  Imagine the pain and agony these people must have went through just to save us and our country.  We take for granted everyday our freedom.  We use our world as one big trash can.  We let things get to the worse point possible before we do anything about it. People are shooting other people just because they are different.  We are living like monsters who have not feeling for other people. We walk down the street and criticize someone just because they look different.  I think that is disgusting to bring someone down just becasue they look different.  No one is perfect and no one should judge, the person they probably don't evne know. They don't know why they are being judged.  Remember to treat others as you would want to be treated.  Remember that people have feelings and they can be hurt.  Remember that war was fought to create peace.

You can't forget to remember.  We need to remember that people have feelings and it hurts to know you can be forgotten. I want you to ask yourself, "Would I like to be forgotten?" I personally do not want to be forgotten.  I would feel horrible if I was forgotten. I would think there is no point in being here if people are just going to forget about me and the things I have done.  Just remember to treat others how you would want to be treated yourself.

Remember not to forget, remember these men and women who fought so hard to get us here,

Remember......

Jessica- YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED